How to deal with the lack of intimacy after many years of marriage?

Marriage is a commitment of a lifetime, but sometimes after a long-term marriage things may seem a bit dull. That could probably be because of the years that have passed by, old age, work related problems and the fact that the couple just grows apart. Intimacy comes as a result of sharing and caring for another person, and not just by making love. If a couple stops maintaining this intimate bond, the relationship is bound to fade away in due course of time.

How to understand that your marriage might be losing intimacy

There may be times where either of the partners will not want to make love due to stress or work problems, but that’s all right as long as it doesn’t continue for a long time. If days become months, then you may have something to worry about. Intimacy cannot be expressed only through intercourse; it builds the foundation of a relationship. Without intimacy, it may seem like you go for months and years by sleeping beside a stranger every night. Conversations that will take place in your home just end up being instructions or orders and no actual conversation. A couple must be able to talk about their feelings and share emotions with others. Lack of intimacy will prevent that from happening because it will cause communication difficulties between you and your partner.

Dealing with lack of intimacy starts with accepting the reason why it exists in the first place. Even if you and your partner are growing old or you’ll have had enough kids, but that is not a reason for stopping physical contact. Find out why you and your partner have difficulty communicating or making love for starters and then you can get ahead with solving it. You need to diagnose the problem first and then proceed towards finding a solution for it. You could even consider going for couple’s counseling or visit a relationship advisor to help your marriage come out of the ‘no intimacy’ phase. Many couples like to take an advice from a professional when it comes to matters in a relationship. Such professionals deal with stressed couples and relationship problems on a daily basis so there are high chances that they will know what they are doing.

How to keep the intimacy alive

The main deal with keeping intimacy in a relationship is to know when to get married. People make hasty decisions when it comes to marriages and then regret later. Make sure that the person you are going to marry is also thinking about the future with you. Picture your future with your partner and how both of you can help each other get through difficult times like child birth, old age or sickness. If you still think that your partner will be able to comfort and support you during tough times, you can go for it.

Cultivating intimacy with your partner is pretty easy. You just have to take out time and energy for each other like you would when you were young. Couples think its ok to not go out on dates or not spend time with each other once they grow older but that’s not right. Take vacations together, go out for romantic dinners, hold hands and express your love freely. If you think your partner looks good on a particular day, compliment them. People like to feel appreciated and a genuine compliment will always make you feel nice. Initiate physical contact or tell your partner that you still desire them physically. After certain years of marriage, it is quite expected that the spark will fade away, but you don’t have to live with that. Make sure you keep the spark alive in your relationship. Make sure you can rekindle the excitement and passion that was lost for a few years in your marriage.

Intimacy comes through various ways and making love with your partner will only strengthen the bonds of intimacy between the both of you. Men want to make love to establish an emotional connection with their partners and women like to make love because they already feel that closeness with them. Make sure you respect your partner’s need for emotional comfort and physical contact in a marriage. It is important, in any relationship, to care for your partner’s needs and only then a secure emotional and physical bond will be established. In a marriage, both partners need to work equally so that the bond of the marriage stays intact and the intimacy is maintained with each other. Do not try anything extra to make it worse. Just understand your partner’s feelings and try to keep him or her happy. Believe me, intimacy will automatically come. Stay blessed with togetherness….

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