Okay!!! Some question that most of us find it tricky to ask. Well, there is no defined answer to “how a normal marriage looks like” …. couples who are already married knows that there is lot more and beyond this that cannot sum up the answer. And those who are single, wanted to settle down are really eager to find the real answer for this. Because for every one of us, “NORMAL” has a different perspective, hence different replies to this –what’s normal and what’s not when it comes to marriages depends on the behavior patterns of the couples that normalcy in their marriage.
Most of us are programmed from a very early age that one day we are going to meet someone special, date, settle down and get married. Our grandparents did it, our parents did it and since we have grown up seeing this unity we too believe in this arrangement. Well, not bad if you really feel like settling down. But it is not healthy if you are even 1% not sure about this entire thing.
How can you tell if the problems you are going through are just par for the course? When it comes to relationships – marriages, it requires immense love, trust and respect to make it healthy. May be these words are common words that you come across daily while reading any marriage, relationship topic, but they are beyond than just being words.
No matter how things are great going, there is always been part of us that wonders if we are experiencing par of course. Being anxious is a human psychology and it doesn’t help when anxiety get into us, making us feel comparing our marriage to everyone else. But who knows, what does a normal marriage look like?
Earlier, marriages weren’t always about sharing the feeling, intimacy. In fact, love was never a primary factor. If spending so much time in comparing ourselves to those, isn’t just that setting ourselves up for failure?
Marriage is a priority…. partners recognize that they are ultimately responsible for meeting each other needs and do best to help each other to meet those. With honest communication, this nourishes the relationship with strengths and flaws seeing each other as whole people.
It takes two to TANGO…If your goal is to have a satisfied, happy marriage with longevity ensure you are accountable for the part you are playing in your marriage. When you take responsibility for your part, only then you will be able to connect with your partner in a mature way- intimate way.
Adjustment periods…If you decide to marry even though you guys have known each other for long time and dated, but when it comes to settling down it requires different type of adjustments. The 1st year is likely to be bit bumpy. You are now in a legal committed relationship and the dynamics change, thus there is a period of adjustments. So, if your better half is not in the state of bliss it doesn’t mean that your marriage is doomed- it means it’s normal.
Sense of humor, intimacy and expecting realistic expectation with flexibility…All these makes a normal marriage. One doesn’t require explaining these factors but to feel it completely and get in with the flow. It’s okay of not to feel comfortable in the beginning of the marriage but that’s completely fine. It is not compulsory to not to feel comfortable. Accept the change, the more you part-take innocently, the easier going it becomes.
Remember, it requires consistent efforts to build marriage. Spend more time, talk, laugh, cook together, share the responsibilities, compliment often and this is how one will have a long term happy married life.