“We come to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person, perfectly.” – Sam Keen.
At some point in a person’s life, he might think that love should be something like that which is seen in romantic movies, television series and novels. But you have to realize something – life is not like as it seems in the movies or TV series’ or books. It is far more complicated than that and in order to find true happiness in your relationship; you must get rid of the ideas that are portrayed in movies or books. But let’s look at movies like Titanic, Romeo and Juliet and all other romantic movies – why do all these movies tug the strings in our hearts and make us look for that kind of love? It is because the love shown is unrequited and a fantasy.
The kind of romantic fantasies that are shown and written in movies and books are actually an alternative for real, vulnerable and connected intimacy. In life, happy forever is possible if you are ready to work on your relationship. You have to find the best ways in which you can make your girlfriend and wife have a sense of completeness when she is with you. Here’s how you can do that –
- Come into the relationship as a whole and start sharing your life with one another interdependently. Let go of the romantic ideal of merging with your wife/girlfriend and becoming one with her. You must learn to love the distances in your relationships as much as you love the togetherness.
- To complete your relationship, you must realize that your wife/girlfriend has her own unique personality. Accept that and start to discover new things about who she is, how she will change and evolve into an even better person.
- The key to having a relationship which gives you a sense of completeness when you are with her is that you should be able to learn from her. If she commits a mistake, then instead of blaming her and pointing fingers, learn from her mistake so that it doesn’t happen again.
- Another key thing is that, in order to feel complete and give her a sense of completeness, you must learn to be alone and give her some personal space of her own. If you don’t, then you will suffocate her.
- Fights will happen in the course of a relationship. If fights get out of hand, then you might cause separation and a sense of incompleteness in your relationship with her. If you continuously fight with your wife/girlfriend and then making up, it deprives the relationship of the real sense of intimacy that it deserves. So, if you want to complete the life of your wife/girlfriend, then get to know about which aspect of intimacy is it that you fear.
- Generally, people tend to reach for romantic novels are due to the fact that they want something which is out of their reach and they want something which they don’t have. When this person finally finds love, it is not what they were looking for. To complete her, you must first learn to love yourself.
- After the initial phase of a relationship is over, you will start to feel ordinary and find that ordinariness is starting to creep into your relationship and you feel that you want to avoid it. Don’t do so and realize that the feeling of ordinariness is part of what completes your relationship and gives you and your significant other, a true sense of intimacy.
- Instead of always wanting love from your significant other, you should focus on giving love. If you give your love to your significant other without expecting anything in return except love itself, then you will find that you two complete each other and you have a happy relationship in between yourself.
- What causes immediate suffering in a relationship is the fact that you view things like romance and constant togetherness to fill up a hole in your personality. If you always expect that you will always receive love instead of giving it, then you will be hurt. Let go of any false expectations that you might have and you will find that you two complete each other.
- One thing that you might have in common with all other things with your significant other is the fact that both of you want to be happy and this desire to be happy will make you want to be close with her. If you want a real sense of completeness and intimacy, you must expand your heart and be aware what is good within you. This way you form a true connection with your significant other.
You see, when you give your wife/girlfriend a share of your own aliveness and happiness, you will find that there is a beautiful relationship unfolding between you and her. This will help you complete each other in a very intimate and passionate level.