There are very few decisions in life, which tend to be very vital and no matter how big or small, they can end up being life changing events in themselves. Marriage is always one such decision that is just as scary and important as it is loved and wanted at the same time. However, as prominent and important a life event that a marriage can be, one should know the signs of it crumbling down or falling apart when the need arises. Most of the times, of course, problems can be resolved and solutions can be sought in mutual consent or even with the help of some good couples counseling.
Sometimes, however, there are a few signs, no matter how small, that cannot be ignored at all. No matter how hard one tries to work it out, if they keep springing back for the smallest reason, time and again, then that is definitely much more than just an eye opener that the universe is leaving you with! Such signs can often lead to either of the partner or even both of them into lean towards asking for a split.
Here are a few very common, yet daunting signs in a marriage that might lead towards a divorce;
Controlling issues. if there have been constant attempts by your partner in controlling your behavior or even have a control over your socializing and professional life, then it could just be a mere beginning of something much worse. Emotional abuse and public torment actions of any sort should not be let by easily; your partner might never stop later.
Mistreating the kids. at no point of a marriage, is mistreating kids with physical or verbal abuse, a valid excuse. Even mere arguments in the presence of the children are more than enough to tarnish their young minds. Avoiding the involvement of children in marriage quarrels is a wise decision, but if one of the partners’ attention or anger starts burning down on kids as a mere outlet, then it is time for the couple to put their feet down and take some decision.
Excusing affairs. Cheating is heinous and often inexcusable. However, in the case of marriages, partners often end up forgiving their better halves for having slipped once and give it a fresh start. It would be a much worse scenario, though, if you ignore repeated cheating from your partner and still put up with it in the name of marriage.
Addiction history. If your partner has a history of drinking, gambling, smoking or anything bad and you do see it relapsing then the worst reaction to give is ignore it. Habits, as it is truthfully said, do die hard and it would be mighty foolish to ignore them.
Physically violent. No matter how hard the times in a marriage, misunderstanding, economic stress or job issues, none is excusable a reason or even acceptable in the least for physical violence. Even letting your partner get away with the idea of getting physically violent can be critical and this surely calls for an immediate action.
Someone else. If halfway through the marriage, your partner falls for a better someone or wants to leave you and move on, then ignoring it would just be a fail on your part. Happiness is a key to a lasting marriage and if your partner thinks that their happy ending lies somewhere else, then pulling threads further would be a waste. Also, you don’t want to push them into doing something extreme just to get what they desire.
Sadly, the divorce rates have gone really high in the past few decades, but we can safely agree that, better that than violent crimes. In some cases, however, there are just a few common issues which disrupt a relation, but they aren’t even half as bad as they seem and definitely not divorce worthy. Some of those common issues are as follows;
- Lack of communication. This is one such complaint that almost every second couple might come up with and have a lot of trouble clearing out. However, with a little bit of willingness and efforts from both the sides, there wouldn’t ideally be any problem as such in overcoming it as well as having a fresh start.
- Trust issues. Again a very common problem amongst couples, but if you are indeed determined in giving yourselves a fresh start, then there isn’t a lot of difficulty in getting rid of trust issues.
- Lack of love. One of the most common and yet most simple issue to deal with, if both partners do want to get it cleared. If you could woo your partner once, then you can surely do it all over again! Rekindle the spark and be a little giving in the relation and the result might just surprise you.
- Not what you signed up for. It is true and happens more often than you could imagine! However, it is human tendency to change and adapt to new situations and being in a relationship, there isn’t any wrong in trying to see the good in your partner, even if they do change a bit.
Every human is entitled to happiness and it is only when we acknowledge it, that living life becomes easier to live. All of these above listed warning signs appear in any relationship from time to time and ignoring them because of overwhelming outcomes would be very wrong an approach to your relation.
Some things can be resolved and taken care of but at other times, it’s just not worth or even humanly possible to untangle in the first place and trying too hard might just pull ropes enough for them to split. Such vital signs of an approaching divorce shouldn’t be avoided in the slightest as any sort of delay could just make matters worse for everyone involved. It is as they truly say, one should know when it’s time to walk away.