With the distrust in relationship growing around, the Gen X has expressed suspicion of relationship in general. Despite of constantly showing the rosy pictures about the marriage, this very generation has less faith in this institution. There are several reasons that play an important role behind this. It’s not those who are single and pinpointing their doubt towards marriage, but those happy couple who are about to exchange vows somewhere nervously contemplates their future together. The ratio is much higher, one out of two marriages ends in divorce. The couples worry that their future is doomed even before it begins…
Divorces are messy business…. why just think about one?
Divorces are bitter, no matter how mutually, convincing it appear at front, but somewhere that bonding is gone between the couples and they will be never being the same personalities again in their life. It is rather a lesson to learn, but why discuss one. Have you heard that quote, “the more you think about it the nearer it attracts you”? So, let’s start with a positive note here.
When you marry for these reasons, the chance of your divorces reduces…how? There is no magic formula to this, but just efforts, true feelings and most importantly that love factor that will help you get through this problem.
Whatever it takes just hang on
Maybe you are just 7 month out from the altar, or 10 or 15 there you are…trucking along with your life, your marriage. Your partner is coming home late, feels cranky every time you talk and God knows what recent changes have made him/her like this, just be patient. It is obvious to think that you were just as happy as your wedding day and now suddenly this. Marriage is hard, it is no picnic. There are hundreds and thousands of couples that think other way- they grow and breathe.
No matter how appealing that D word feels, but get going. Gather the strength and ignore those problems- you need to develop a thick skin. There will be a time where you will be given a chance to reciprocate, to speak and explain and things will start improving. Even your union seems to be rosy, consider reading this because there will be a time once in your marriage coming
Get out of your honeymoon stage
It takes 2 people to be willing to work in their marriage, marriage is a serious commitment, one needs to be dedicated blah blah blah…it looks good to hear but not that good when it comes putting to practice.
Dude I am talking about my marriage that is on the verge of rocks, and you are telling me these shitty things!!! It is not just you but a lot of couples experiencing the same pain.
Ever wonder why? Initially there was a great chemistry, now suddenly what happened? It has been witnessed by the majority of the therapist that one of the partners is still in its honeymoon stage. Bingo! You got it now. Honeymoon is obviously something more and different than your day to day life and it is high time that you come out of it to let go the suffering to ease out the creases from your marriage. Be realistic, being reasonable will let you see things clearly and positively.
Don’t think D word until you have enough honest self-examination
Ask yourself, why do you want a divorce? Because you would never want to take on to something as immense as divorce unless you are going to change and grow. Ask, “How did I get myself into this mess? Why did I pick this person to marry? What did I do that situation has led to divorce? Unless you don’t ask these questions and more like these, you will never know your true self and end up back to square. Evaluate it and try to work out that comes to you as a revelation.
Don’t assume every disagreement as a proof your marriage won’t work
Just because your neighbors have fighting and arguing all the time and divorced for the same doesn’t mean you two are divorcing. Never compare other couples circumstance with you and never imitate what they do, remember every couple is different and so as their circumstance. All couples disagree and even happily married couples fight.
Start focusing on commitment
Marriage commitment is a conscious decision to stick with. Make whatever personal changes it requires to help the relationship grow. You need to nurture your marriage just like we eat, drink, workout to stay fit, the same way your marriage does need love, caring, sharing and much more to get going.
Fights and disagreements were never a problem, but how you handle them is what counts. Work on to let go by being reasonable, respecting your partner’s viewpoint. Acting like a union then combatants will lessen any couple’s divorce chances.