Divorce: the aftermath and pros and cons

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It’s a well-known axiom that a divorced person is a sad person. Divorce is one of those situations in life you won’t understand unless you go through it. Just the thought of having to get rid of the same person you want to dedicate your life to “in sickness and in health” can make the nerves go weak for this madly in love with their significant others. Small talks apart, if we dare inquire about the reality of divorces, the nightmarish custody battles and the often-miserable aftermath, is it pragmatically possible to provide an idea to the still married, yet to be married or a confirmed bachelor a near to clear idea of a divorcees life? Well, this article attempts to convey the unsaid yet known part of a divorced life. Contrary to popular belief, life is not always black and blue after getting a divorce. Here’s some of the pros and cons of the martially terminated life.

Melancholic disorder

The post split-up lamentations are somewhat different from the usual depressive disorder.  The average divorced man or woman suffers from the melancholic strain for an indefinite time period. Melancholy is the vulnerable man’s worst enemy. It feeds on the victim like a parasite, leaving him mercilessly emasculated in the process. Any separated human being is always at the risk of suffering from such prolonged episodes of pensiveness.

Custody battles

Perhaps the only thing worse going through a divorce is to endure the same with children. The ordeal of sitting them down to have the “talk” is just the stepping stone for a series of never-ceasing, exhaustive rounds of denials and defenses, trials and tribulation is aided by raging legal issues. Added to that, is the obvious “who gets the house and the car” mayhem.

Unwelcomed sympathy

This goes out to everyone, who with the desire to empathize with a divorcee, only ends up offering unapproved pity to the recipient. Though it is no secret that anyone going through a divorce is having no gala time, but the unappealing display of pitiful expressions as simple as “just hang in there” or “are you holding up fine yet?” Rubs them up the wrong way and goes a long way catalyzing the difficulty in a situation. Empathy connects people, but just a suffixed alteration may break them too.

Social anhedonia

Social anhedonia is defined as a trait-like disinterest in social contact and is characterized by social withdrawal and decreased pleasure in social situations. This is common for anyone recently divorced to suffer such rupture. The despondency of the divorced party becomes hard to overcome.

Even with the seemingly never-ending and torturous ordeal that comes along a divorce session, there is the hope of a rainbow after the storm. The brighter side of the unappealing talked about the term is never discussed. Let’s face it. Lots of things can be fixed, but at times, relationships between people cannot be fixed. Maybe because it cannot be fixed. And sometimes, it’s only for the better. here’s some unexpectedly wonderful things on life after divorce.

Goals are no longer on the back burner

If you wish to, now you can go from a couch potato to a full-time committed work person. Take those free evening walks and flirt your way through the ideal job postings. Pushing boundaries, no longer sends you on a guilt trip.

Much deserved freedom

Some marriages prove to be claustrophobic, for one or both the parties. In that case, a divorce may serve as a blessing releasing the caged birds to search their way to a mirthful life. And moreover, all discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

Opportunity to become a better parent

The stress of a marriage that is failing stands in the way of good parenting. Once the cloud is lifted it becomes easier, appreciating children the way they deserve. Now you can revel in the little things that happen all the time in parenthood.

Rediscovering the “self”

As a divorced individual, one may begin to rediscover and rebuild upon the once strong and independent person that had been lost along.  Not to mention the much-coveted leisure time. If it’s a FRIENDS marathon or a big fat book you have been dying to bury your head in. Now is your time.

Post-divorce, relationship with ex-partner

Divorced couple has often come to realize that they both are good people, only bad for each other. There is love in holding on and sometimes there is love backed up by compassion in letting go. Let’s not eliminate the possibility of a better bond with your significant other after the burden of wedlock is cut off.

Closer association with friends

Amidst the hurly burly of an unhappy marital status, the couple is most likely to fall apart from their respective friends. A divorcee tends to draw comfort from his/her friends. A deeper connection with other divorced friends is ensured.

Along with the heart wrenching truths encountered while getting a divorce the undeniable benefits cannot be undermined. Life has its ups and downs and changes, mostly for the better.

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