Most cases of pre-divorce separations, one spouse definitely is taken aback on the delivery of the divorce papers. Hence, prevention is essential before the thought of curing it, or in other words, be attentive to the warning signs of a pre-divorce separation. Being shocked and later settling with the existing status quo, also taking things for granted is among the worst mistakes most married couples cause. Here’s a list of the signs of a forthcoming pre-divorce separation.
You both have nothing in common, no more:
If you find yourself and your partner spending hours under the same roof, or at social gatherings or carrying out routine errands, but hardly engaging in a meaningful conversation, then take it as a sign of an expected separation. Living in silence has always been among the primary symptoms of marital breakdown. Sharing with each other’s day, feelings and words of love recreate the bond. If you’re noticing too much silence from your partner’s end, it’s high time you try your best.
When you are never right and not up to any good:
If almost every action of yours is being criticized, if he keeps expressing you’re unable to be right in their eyes, if you mostly feel afraid or intimidated because of these reasons it could indicate that he needs time alone and may soon call for a separation.
Sit down with your spouse instead and discuss what the larger issues are open. Realizing them and coming up with solutions will secure you both and save the marriage.
Are you the last person who gets to know?
If your partner has no longer been sharing any sort of information, news with you, be it about his career, a personal problem or some great personal achievements, but sharing it with mutual friends and you come to know from another source, then, as experts say, there’s a major breakdown in the communication, and he’s tired of it. Communication gap, as mentioned earlier, leads to an inevitable pre-divorce separation. Better try fixing the gap asap!
Noticeable change in the appearance of your spouse:
Say you’re the more successful of you two or the one who stays more pre-occupied all the time, chances are high that this creates a low-quality comfort level drawing an ending line to that perfect pair. Moreover, a drastic change in the personal appearance, hygiene, behavior of your spouse could indicate he’s fighting with mental stress as you no longer care or is trying to get out of the marriage. In that case, try gently discussing the problems.
Hunting for distractions away from the problems:
Are you sick of the television, bringing turned on constantly or taps on the smart phone, or with a face buried in any random book and so on. It is a common indication among us, individuals to look for such distractions just to avoid a troubled marriage. And I tell you, if you don’t take heads out from the sand, you’ll find facing one another in the divorce court. Needless to mention that it wouldn’t be a situation where a television or a book will help distract you from the mess made.
Arguing upon the same old subject repeatedly:
Arguments are a part of your routine with special mention to the same issues with no solution, well then either the marriage is at a standstill or decaying rapidly. Running around in circles or creation of a destructive cycle will surely fire in a separation.
Not or rarely indulging in Sex
Maybe your spouse wants physical intimacy or says sex and you don’t, whatever be the reason. If you both have stopped discussing and recreating that intimate connection with one another, well, high chance your spouse wants to separate secretly. Any marriage lacking affection and intimacy either ends up in a pre-divorce, separation followed by a divorce or in a marriage of convenience, in which you stay for your children or since you’re afraid of a change.
Your spouse keeps talking and wishing about a life without You
Daydreaming of how life would be better had you not been there, and if the same is applicable for you, then a pre-divorce separation is most expected. What is quite abnormal is the-fantasizing-about a divorce frequently. It’s a sign that you both are caught in the cage of this unpleasant relationship. It’s necessary to opt for a marital therapy before a separation is set in.
If your spouse finds a longing for a life away from you, relationship experts keep encouraging you to ask for sharing such feelings too. It will obviously be a super awkward discussion but, you have the right to know if the other is questioning whether to be or not to be married.
The Bad Outweighs all the Good in your marriage
If all the negative sides outweigh the positives of your marriage, then your marriage is totally at stake and indicates a separation. If the problems seem impossible to solve then you need professional help to confront issues causing the severe marital problems. Not taking the pro-active steps for solving a marital problem lead to more and more problems and to a final breakup.
Your Defense Mechanism could be Setting Up for the Trouble
If any of you happen to be overly defensive, or dismissive of your partner’s feelings, do start showing contempt for one another’s beliefs as being engrossed in stonewalling tactics makes you highly prone to a pre-divorce separation. If the conflict is readily avoided or a negative defense mechanism is engaged in dealing with conflicts you are really not allowing a real conflict resolution thus it could lead kiss your marriage a death.