How long is too long to be in a long distance relationship?

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You were intensely in love with each other when you first met, being around each other was the best thing you could ask for but after some time this magical phase had to come to an end as one of you were forced to move to a new place. Since, you could not let him/her go away just like that, you two decided to make it work with the next best possible solution i.e. Long distance relationship. Does this situation sound familiar to you? For many years, you and your love were successful in continuing the relationship because of your prioritization, commitment and the love that you feel for each other, but there comes a time when maintaining the relationship becomes too much of an effort. Sucking out all the love and replacing it with bickering. This is bound to happen when you have been staying apart for too long and when the future begins to get uncertain.

Long distance relationship is a complicated situation to be in. Yes, you were told by the people around you a thousand times to just end the relationship then and there when one of you had to relocate and had to constantly hear that it would not work, but all those talks fell on deaf ears at that time. Now, when it has been, may be a little bit too long to be in this relationship you might have begun to give it a serious thought that whether what people said to you before was right after all. Maybe you are not alone, your partner is also on the same boat as you and just waiting to disclose it in a right time and right way.

Planning is the key to a successful long distance relationship and can also prove to be a mature way to end things if these plans do not go the desired way. It is best for couples to plan on the duration for which they agree to stay apart. In this way, the relationship will no longer be in a suspended state, but will give a clear idea if things are working out and if staying together after the determined duration will be possible. You may have been advised earlier to decide on a time limit before you jumped in for this long-distance relationship business, but people around you do not realize how difficult it is to decide on an end date in reality. Each couple face or are stuck in different circumstances, rendering the mutual agreement on the end date to be tricky. Still, fixing an end date is crucial, because you can’t be in a long-distance relationship forever, deciding on a date will give the chance of moving on to the next prospect without losing precious time on a future that can actually never happen.

How to settle on the duration of the relationship:

  • Assess your situation- In reality the answer to the question whether it has been too long to be in such a relationship depends completely on the couple and their individual needs. If you are able to answer why you are not able to stay together, if it is for a job, money or family issue, then you have to consider the truth that will it really go away after a specified time or you are just speculating.

  • The time limit should be flexible- It is a fact that as time goes by many things changes. You cannot be certain that the plans you made earlier will not go wrong. May be the end date decided is soon to arrive but still it has not become possible to close the distance. In cases, where now living together has become very feasible you can afford to extend the time. If not, then are you prepared to spare more time for this person.

  • Who should be the one to shift- Be straight forward on this one! Do not delay the discussion on the topic, that if it becomes possible to live together who will be the one to shift for their partner. Leaving one’s family and friends for just one person is a huge decision and communicating each other’s expectations will be good for both of you, so that the person who has to move does not backtrack at the critical moment.

  • Are you ready for the heart break? – It is not easy to end a relationship. You should be ready to handle the sadness after the breakup. Take your own sweet time on deciding whether the wait is beginning to take its toll and if you are ready and arrived at the decision, end it.

  • Be open to your partner- Hold discussions with your partner and see what his/her take is on the subject matter. Only after thorough discussion on the issues you may be facing take a mutual decision on the duration for which both of you will wait.

12 COMMENTS

  1. Distance relationship is simply a JOKE of the 21st century. It sucks and i can’t advice my enemy to try it. thanks for sharing this tho

  2. 2 years is too long to be in any so called or even non distance relationship. 1 year is enough as far as am concerned. my 10 cent tho!

  3. distance relationship is all about effective planning. the fact that it did not work out for you those not mean that it wont work for other. I AM A LIVING TESTIMONY of what distance relationship can do. am happily married with 2 beautiful kids.

  4. Distance relationship is a huge risk in this Jet/modern age. It worked well in those days and not now. well, i guess 2-3 years is okay as regard your question.

  5. This is a very insightful article, for me, i would say long distance relationship is of two phases. The long distance that your partner will come back. Mayb work or schooling. And other phase where your partner changes residence. Or changed countries. Its best to be true to your selves.

  6. Nice eductaive article. This is very beneficiary to those having a long distance relationship or who are about to go into long distance relationship. Three years of long distance relationship is enough..and four to five years is already too long

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