It is quite often said that ‘men are from Mars and women are from Venus’ and in relationships, it becomes really true. Especially when you’re having a fight with your man and he refuses to share his feelings or emotions. Men weren’t built that way.
During the early ages, men were supposed to be out hunting for food and the women would be at home looking after the home and caring for the young ones. Women are supposed to be the ones who have to have their feelings and men were supposed to be the tough ones to do all the dirty work. So, males have been the rugged and tough type while females are taught to be the soft and mushy kind.
This was just a vague reason representing from the early men ages, but there is also a scientific explanation to why men keep their emotional detached from all logical reasoning. It has to be because of their brain arrangement. Men naturally have a larger brain surface area as compared to women. So that’s the reason why the organ “Corpus Callosum” which divides the brain into two equal halves, left and right. This part is also larger as compared to women and that’s the reason why men can separate feelings from their thinking pattern and not let emotions take their way upon them. Men can bring in reasoning in the discussion without letting emotions take a toll on them.
Women generally have a lot of intimate relationships in their lives where they can share and open up about what they’re feeling but men don’t. Even when their best buddies, men will be judged for being too weak or looking like a girl if they talk about feelings on a deeper level. Women are used to sharing their feelings and asking friends or family members for help when they get stuck emotionally but men don’t work that way. If a man has emotional problems, he will either be made fun of or he might just be mentally sick. Men have been taught to suppress outward emotional reactions and dial it down each time they feel things. Even in the middle of a group of friends, men aren’t supposed to discuss relationship issues because then they’d be considered weak or ‘sissy’ like. Some men do not express their feelings or crush because of fear of failure. Since they are more egoistic, they do not digest failure. In other word, men avoid talking about relationships in the open, because of fear of being targeted by the friends. They prefer to share the relationship with the close friends only. At least in Indian middle class society, men need to work hard for getting themselves established first, and then only they think of anything else. This is the other reason of not being able to share the feelings openly unless they prove themselves as “successful person” in life.
Men express themselves in a different way
An average man is emotional, but the reason they don’t express themselves is probably why women believe men don’t have emotions or they don’t care. Sometimes this might prove to be troublesome in a relationship when discussions are meant to happen and men won’t contribute their bit.
But men also feel things as much as women do. They either prefer to not talk about it or try to think of a logical way around it. But when things go bad or a relationship doesn’t work out, men tend to become bitter or angry. That’s the way they express themselves and not by talking out each detail about how they’re feeling. Men also seem desperate at times when things go wrong or they’re missing their loved ones, but instead of dealing with the feelings and talking about it, men simply zone out or express those feelings in the form of anger or bitterness.
Men’s psychology is the biggest obstacle to express their feelings openly and make them introvert. This is the probable reason why men generally talk or gossip lesser than the women do. Men also happen to convert feelings inside their mind and make their feelings a bit more socially acceptable. That’s their brain trying to be logical again and convert feelings that will not make them seem weak in front of their peers. If a man feels sad or desperate, he will convert those feelings into something socially acceptable for a man like pride or anger or revenge. If a relationship is gone bad, he may want to channelize his rage into something else like sports or his work, but he will never try to talk about it with anybody.
While dealing with emotional issues between a man and a woman, we must first analyze the fact both the genders look at feelings from a different aspect and understanding each other can be difficult due to that. Feelings are supposed to be made clear so that both parties can interpret it and then deal with the problem they are facing.