Expectation, one of the most common human traits, is surely the toughest one to have a grasp on now, isn’t it? How many times have you felt hurt or even heartbroken because you had unrealistic visions and just assumed that what you expected is understood by your partner? If you have ever found yourself thinking, “If he/she loved me, then this wouldn’t be the case”. Actually, all of us have a preconceived version of our dream mate at some point in our lives and end up comparing it to our real-life partners! These expectations are known to kill the very roots of a relationship that could have been the best in its own unique way if only it wasn’t meddled with so much.
Relationships always have their own unique way of strengthening when both individuals begin to see it for what it really is and not as the mere unfulfilled expectations that they hold up so high.
Happiness is living without any expectations and the day both the partners get over unrealistic expectations of theirs and unreasonable demands in the relation, a healthy respect for each other forms up and that is what makes the couple stronger than ever!
Here are a few of the most common expectations that partners usually have in a relationship; unrealistic expectations like these, which are a part of our subconscious mind itself, end up taking a heavy toll on healthy relations eventually!
- No peeping or noticing ever happens This is one of the most common expectations from both or either of the sexes in a relationship and highly unrealistic at that. Simple logic here is, we are all eventually humans and we do notice people, attractive ones or even the non-attractive ones and any dating does not change it, nothing does!
- Immediate support in all your endeavors It is understandable for you to want your partners support, but the important clue here is the support and not how soon or how late is it coming across. There might be times when your decisions might not thrill your partner in the least, but it still is something you have to do.
- Never ever getting bored when together Chances are, in a long-term relationship, you tend to get tired of each other momentarily or just get a bit bored and out of it. That is, however, never a bad sign and definitely not something to over react on; every individual needs their own space and time at the end of the day and their partners should be more than happy to understand that need positively.
- Approval from all your peers and relatives If it was a perfect world, then your partner would definitely get the approval from and be a favorite amongst all your friends and relatives! That’s not how real life always pans out and it is still totally normal either way.
- Getting all your partners’ buddies to love you Just like all the near and dear ones in your life might not end up liking your partner, you are also bound to face some friction from their dear one’s side. It is, once again, completely normal and nothing to flip out over; if your partner supports you no matter what, then that is all the really counts in the end anyway!
- Always expecting a small romantic gesture Not all your ex-partners and current partners are ever going to be the same exactly. Hence, expecting a romantic gesture from your current partner for every small reason might not be very realistic of you.
- Saying the right thing every time to err is human and that is exactly is what your partner is too, like everyone else. No one is a movie perfect figure who always says the right things in every scenario no matter what. If unrealistic expectations like these keep coming to you then you might want to take a rain check pretty soon.
- Perpetual statements of love It is highly unrealistic to be expecting your partner to always shower you with the ‘I Love You’ for any and everything happening in your lives. It is also very inappropriate on so many grounds want your partner to say it without meaning it just because your friend’s lover says it all day long.
- Everything will flow smooth It doesn’t matter how much in love the two of you are, as there will be times when everything won’t come to you just in the spur of the moment. The true test of a relationship is when it can stand the test of time and still manage to keep both the partners hanging on.
- Everything always syncs Different people have different tastes, likes and dislikes and even the people, who are very similar to each other, tend to have different choices in certain areas. It is completely normal for your partner to like different TV programs and snacks to go to that series while you like your standard music as a relaxation.
All of us, at some point in our lives, tend to enter into a romantic relationship with a different notion of how it would be like and perceive it vaguely as well. However, the real bit begins when you actually start treating it as a new chapter, with a lot more to know about the other person. There is no logical base to explain ruining a perfectly good relation for mere dream mate concepts that you once had sketched in your minds; at the end of the day, the nature and willingness of your partner to keep you happy and smiling is what should matter the most.
Try to get rid of above mentioned expectation for healthy relationship. If you start respecting your partner for “who they are” and “how they behave”, instead of asking them to change to meet your unrealistic expectations, then that is a healthy relationship base right there!